Happy hump day, readers! You’re halfway there!
As you may be able to tell already, I’m a highly opinionated lady. This has gotten me into trouble in the past, but I think that it’s better to have strong feelings about things than go through life feeling blasé about everything. Clearly, I’m passionate about beauty products and grooming, but there are some things that I could go through life without seeing ever again.
10. Dark lipliner, light lipstick
I think this trend that has died in most places but still fights to hang on where I live, like some sort of horrifying endangered animal. It seems to be, at long last, on its way out as it was ‘cool’ here 20 years ago. Our friend Pamela Anderson here isn’t even going to the extreme that I see regularly – dark brown lipliner with beige frosted lipstick. This is a failed trick to make your lips look bigger than they actually are. If that’s what you want, try this instead. Use a color lipstick that’s close in color to your lip, a liner that is SLIGHTLY darker, and carefully line just outside the lip – don’t go to the extreme that Pam did. If you need to use a heavy hand on the liner, keep it to the middle third of your bottom lip. Add some clear lipgloss to the middle of your lip and done! (You could highlight the cupid’s bow, or that little v in the middle of your upper lip, if you like.) Bigger looking lips. Or try a plumping gloss. I’ve had the best results with FusionBeauty Lip Fusion and InFATuation – go for a natural, glitter-free shade!
9. French manicures and pedicures
On fake nails in particular, this one is wearing thin. (Premiere nail bloggers, like Scrangie and AllLacqueredUp, despair about this frequently.) I’m not talking about funky Frenches, I’m referring to seriously unnatural-looking manicures that are supposed to look natural. Just use the French manicure pink or beige shade (like my favorite, OPI Bubble Bath) without a white line! Not only is it very pretty and flattering, it’s cheaper than the French – that white line costs extra if you’re paying to get your nails done.
8. Oompa Loompa tans
Tanning is bad for you. I understand why people tan, and I’ve been guilty of it (I’m just so frustratingly pale!), but luckily (maybe), spray tanning was invented for this reason. It wasn’t invented to turn orange. Be judicious with self bronzing. If your teeth look scarily white against your skin and you’re ruining clothing with spray tan, you may have gone too far. If you want to naturally turn orange, eat a lot of carrots! This may take some time, but it honestly does work.
7. Bad highlights
I see these more often than I care to admit. It’s especially disheartening when girls with dark brown hair ask for thin, blonde highlights. Kind of zebra stripey, and definitely fake-looking. Dark hair is so beautiful (and usually quite thick, which I envy)! Enhance it with a gloss treatment instead of highlights. If you actually want to be blonde, go blonde! Stop trying to have your cake and eat it too.
6. The Jersey Shore “blowout”
I covered this in my men’s product article. Just no.
5. Too much cologne or perfume
You may have noticed that older women in particular can have a problem with wearing too much perfume – did you know as you age, your olfactory glands weaken? But if your nose is in fine condition, please don’t choke me with cologne on the bus in the morning, especially if it comes from a spray can (AXE, anyone?). Two spritzes should do it.
4. Paisley eyebrows
Unfortunately, Google could not provide me with a picture for demonstration purposes, but you may know what I’m talking about already. It’s an extremely skinnily-tailed eyebrow with a highly-rounded arch (also skinny) that grows into a wide teardrop shape close to the nose. It’s hard to fix eyebrows that are unruly or have been overly tweezed. It definitely takes a lot of patience. It could also potentially benefit from items like Peter Thomas Roth Brows to Die For or Latisse (prescription product!), which Fergie uses on her brows.
3. Mismatched foundation
Though it is close to the top of the list, I understand how hard it is to find a foundation. I have a lot of trouble matching my skin tone to products, especially with the lighting that stores use (Sephora, I’m looking at you). A lot of department store makeup artists and the like aren’t necessarily good at helping either – I’ve bought a few products that salespeople have picked out for me, gotten home, and been sorely disappointed. I recommend going to the MAC counter for this one – they have a great range of foundations and concealers, and their artists are more than qualified to help. Or, if you’ve found one that you kind of like but think you could do better, check out Temptalia‘s Foundation Matrix. It’s highly extensive and can help you find your shade.
2. Chipped manicures – or worse, pedicures
I understand that chipped manicures are sometimes a fashion statement. I don’t think they say anything particularly fashionable, but I suppose that’s up to the wearer. People even pay for pre-chipped manicures. Try a crackle topcoat if you want an unusual look. But chipped polish on toes? Feet kind of freak me out, and unkempt feet are even scarier. This is why I don’t post pedicure pictures. (I know people out there who have serious podiaphobia (fear of feet!), so why make it worse for them?) Since feet and toes are kind of strange as it is, why would I want to see them with a shoddy pedicure? I feel like naked toenails are almost as bad.
1. Clipping your nails in public
Everyone who knows me is aware of how much I love New York. BUT ATTENTION, NEW YORKERS. STOP CLIPPING YOUR FINGERNAILS ON THE SUBWAY. Are you even serious? You’re using a nail clipper and you’re just letting little parts of your body fly all over the place? You shouldn’t be allowed to have a Metrocard. Please do this in the privacy of your own home. Or at least clip your nails into a plastic bag. AT LEAST.
Okay, everyone! What do you think of my pet peeves? Are they reasonable or am I crazy…or do you feel like “both” is the right answer? Let me know in the comments – and I’d love to hear what your beauty pet peeves are!